I do love plants. I love buying them, I love having them and I love looking at them.
What I hate is looking after them.
I cannot be bothered to read manuals or guidebooks on how to water them, fertilize the earth, or worse, listen to the florist's tiresome monologue on how to... There I usually doze off for a split second, start nodding hectically to give her the impression I have taken in every piece of the valuable information about the goddamn thing and attempt to bypass whatever comes next altogether by looking very erudite on the floral scale. I then press the banknotes into her hand, "keep the change, bye bye now" and swiftly leave. Little do they know that the act of handing the plant over to me would result in its imminent death.
HOWEVER, there is a cure for both sides, my good conscience and the welfare of the plant. The solution is called Zanzibar Gem or Zamioculcas, an invicible plant. A perfect plan(t) for all of us who get shouted at by their mothers and sisters and grandmothers on constant basis for letting it rot again. I do not have to worry about it, it grows happily without being watered for months, exactly, if I fail to kill it, noone is able to.
Besides, Zanzibar Gem is a brilliant idea for those who see beauty in simplicity as well as I do and perceive blooming plants as unnecessary pathos.
Case closed.
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