Vēnī, vīdī, vīcī . Vertigo, jog on!

Alfred Hitchcock, Vertigo

\Vic"to*ry\, n.; pl. Victories. [OE. victorie, OF. victorie, victoire, F. victoire, L. victoria. See Victor.] The defeat of an enemy in battle, or of an antagonist in any contest; a gaining of the superiority in any struggle or competition; conquest; triumph; -- the opposite of defeat.

I have always been rather anxious when exposed to a place high up and  I am sure that most people feel exactly the same or at least slightly uncomfortable in such situation. I have a fundamental issue with the image of my brain being splattered all over the place below, actually, the fall more so. In case it involves a certain risk, it is by human nature to experience fear, a rational fear. Acrophobia is its irrational counterpart. Now, what I fail to grasp is how you tell the difference. How life-threatening or unsafe does it have to be in order not to get a chair in Acrophobics Anonymous?

I seized the opportunity to face my fear in a rope centre this week and I believe that I left as Paige Caesar. I came, I saw, I conquered. Or, I simply managed not to pee myself, vomit, break down in tears or pass out, that is one way to look at it as well.

Yes, I was frightened, yes, I screamed, yes, I was being childish, yes, I fully abused the existence of swear words and vulgar gestures, I also dropped a tear as far as I remember but despite this all, it was unexpectedly quite enjoyable. Only when it was completely over, to be quite honest. Come to think of it, the sensation of joy could have also been a disguised relief. Who knows.

I know for a fact that this experience is not going to turn my life upside down, I am not going to devote myself to rock climbing and start spending money on ropes instead of dresses. It does not mean that I could be seen in the next Mission Impossible but I have done something I never saw myself doing. I do not wish to make a mountain out of molehill, it is not like I invented a cure for AIDS, but it is, in my eyes, little something to be proud of.

I however used up my entire profane vocabulary when asked to do the bungee jump, there I was literally shitting myself.

And I obviously did not do it. 

Besides, Seneca said that sometimes even to live is an act of courage so I am ok.